Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Indifference

courtesy of Deviant Art.

your indifference
pours molten lava onto my
already wounded heart -

deliberately
depriving me of life;
reducing me
into the ashen state
of which i am not yet bound -

i ask: did i give you reason?


For 3WW

23 comments:

Lavinia Ladyslipper said...

Striking imagery with those saturated hues. The poem leaves me wondering...who...what....its like a riddle...

rebecca said...

lavinia:

a riddle, huh? hmmm....well, i wrote from the man's point of a view... i took usage of this striking piece of art and simply applied what came forth (with the help of 3 word wednesday's writing prompt) ....

TC said...

I understand these feelings well. Nicely crafted.

rebecca said...

tc: thank you. and i agree....these feelings are universal. man or woman, if we have loved, then we have all felt the pain of indifference, whether from a lover or family....

Joyce said...

Very nice writing about an all-too-common state of affairs.

Lanceman said...

Thank you Rebecca. This means much to me. I find myself in the trap of indifference sometimes, and at the expense usually of my family. I think we can all improve in this area, and your writing really drills home the point of what indifference can mean to those affected.

Tammy said...

Indifference is very painful and you did a wonderful job with it. I related to every word. xxoo

Rachel said...

Great job describing what it feels like to be in a situation like that... indifference is worse than hate... you said that beautifully! =)

pjd said...

sometimes all we want is for someone to care. Indifference can really suck.

Raven said...

Excellent poem. Thanks for your visit to Raven's Nest last week. My computer was down for a bit and I'm catching up on things. You told me that you have a Callico like my Angel... I think you renamed her Trouble. I often call Angel "Trouble on 4 legs." No end of creative naughtiness... and in such cute, sweet little packages. ANyway, thanks for your comment. I enjoyed reading through your writing. I wonder if you'd consider participating in the Saturday Wordzzle challenge I offer at Raven's Nest. I think you'd enjoy it. Sorry this is such a long message.

tumblewords said...

Nicely done! It rings true to me...

anthonynorth said...

Indifference is particularly cruel because it is never truly defined - leaves you in a kind of limbo.
Excellently put.

d SINNER!!! said...

awesome flow of the thot..

indifference is something that hurts more then anything!

b said...

well done, very well done!!!

b

paisley said...

they say, the opposite of love is not hate,, but rather indifference,, and i would say,, in such a scenario in which the narrator finds his or her self,, that it is definitely time to move on.....

San said...

wow. the words and the image go so well together. and i agree with what you've written. i think everyone will. the truth hurts but will finally set you free.

Daily Panic said...

I hate it when those you are closest to are indifferent. You do want to know why, but then you wonder, will it really change things between you? Sad.

Great poem.

lissa said...

it is like a riddle, but that aspect of it reiterates the person's confusion and anger about indifference. love the first stanza.

Angela said...

wow, powerful!

The Real Mother Hen said...

Yes, you did have the reason to NUKE someone. It's time to show some kungfu! Chop chop chop... heeeeyah!

Michelle said...

I love this, especially the last line. Perfection!

rebecca said...

thanks michelle...

xoxo

Day Dreamer said...

I loved him with all my heart and soul...and he couldn't even remember the color of my hair. He held it in his hands and buried his face in its silky blond straighness, and he couldn't even remember the color.
Yes, indifference can crush you.