When Pigs Fly!

Courtesy of Deviant Art.

I blame it on the pigs.

Last week I got some sort of nasty bug. I’d like to be melodramatic and say it was the swine flu, but I don’t think it was. But I had something close to it. And I had just come back from a week’s vacation too when I had to call in sick the latter days of the week and I can’t tell you how uncomfortable I felt about that; but, such is life, and when you can’t move, you can barely get out of bed, and barely talk because that in itself feels like too much work then, yeah, maybe it’s not such a good idea for you to go and spread your lovely germs around.

And speaking of coming back from vacation I always get a nice welcome back but this year more than ever because I have this sweet, new cellmate who has tethered herself to me quite tightly. This was her when I got in: "OMG, Rebecca, I’m so glad you’re back! It was so quiet here without you! Big B and J couldn’t figure out what was wrong Monday until they realized you weren’t in! They missed you! We missed you! I missed you! Come on, I wanna give you a hug!" Isn’t that a nice welcome? She made my day. And Big B made my day too because he had this big grin on his face when he saw me and said it was just too quiet without me. My boss, who’s going on 12 years of trying to handle my animated spurts of joy and hugfests, facetiously said, "Oh, boy, quiet time is over, Trouble’s back," and comes over and hugs me, "Hi baby, I’ve missed you, welcome back."

I’m a hugger; I’m a big-time hugger with boundary issues but the people I hug never seem to mind. My daughter never leaves without giving me a big hug. I got her boyfriend who is very reserved now doing this as well. This weekend when they came over for a barbeque I was surprised when he came over to me and hugged me tight before I got the chance to hug him first; yes, he’s learning my tribal ways. My husband is spoiled rotten – that’s a given; my siblings, especially my brother, loves to hug me like he hasn't seen me in awhile even though we get together at least twice a month for dinner and movies; my coworkers, my boss, my teachers, you name it – hugs, hugs, hugs all around. And they love it and they’re used to it and they expect it. I've spoiled them.

So I blame it on the pigs.

This is my boss yelling out to me today from her office: "Rebecca, I’m reading here that because of the swine flu you cannot hug and kiss anybody for now, so no hugging! I forbid you! You cannot get sick on me now with Commencement coming up! Hug after that!"

What? Leave me alone!

She must have read my mind because she then proceeds to tell everyone in the office there will be no hugfests until after Commencement and since she can't trust me to follow her orders, she's putting the responsibility on them. Smart woman.

I got nominated for an award last week by my POD and I hugged him in my excitement. He didn’t know what to do or how to react but got over it quickly and hugged me back. It was like Superman had been given a major dose of kryptonite; the man weakened. And this is good! Now he treats me very, very sweet. Hm? How a little sugar weakens the toughest of men, no?

I went to see my cardiologist today for my six-month visit and what does he do? What he always does; he extends his hand to shake my hand but then takes me into a big hug. Yea, got him doing it too. He tells me today he’s spoiled me because I seem to find fault with all the other doctors and I tell him he’s absolutely correct. He's just terrific and I love him. I always tell my husband that if I ever decide to divorce him I’m going to start batting my eyelashes at my doc because I just love him to death. He tells me, " Rebecca, leave him alone. He’s married and has five girls. He has enough problems already." *sigh* Girl can't seem to have any fun anymore.

So I blame it on the pigs.

Because of the pigs I am now banned from hugging and sprinkling my joy around. I'd like to say that I will stop doing so when pigs fly, but then again, that wouldn't be too smart, would it? So, for now, this is all I can do....((hugs))