Class: Day Two - Oh Boy

Day Two. Two more people have joined our group. Thankfully, Big Dude wasn't there to mess with The POD and, personally, I was relieved.

The two newbies were the editor of the school newspaper, The Dave, a nice young man that was the spitting image of David Duchovny, and a young girl, Young Miss Maiden, who was, for lack of a better word, apoplectic. Young Miss Maiden appeared terrified when I came in. It appeared The Dave had taken on the role of informant and graciously apprised Young Miss Maiden all things POD. As an example, he related an incident where The POD was accosted by a student one time after class and began arguing with him about his grade. The Dave informed Young Miss Maiden that The POD was not bothered by this one bit and simply stood his ground and stated the grade would stay and no amount of aggression or threats would change it. I believe the whole point of The Dave being so graciously forthcoming was to instill fear. Poor kid, the story was obviously working. The Dave was obviously having too much of a good time messing with Young Miss Maiden's head and this only made MKIA (Miss Know It All) salivate and want a piece of the action. So she, in turn, gifted Young Miss Maiden with some horror stories of her own. I then felt it was my turn to join in the diatribe - "Oh, he isn't that bad. You'll do well. I wouldn't worry. In the end, you'll come to love him." Yes, I put a damper on these two evil spirits. I then thought I saw The Dave and MKIA give me the evil eye but since I was wearing my cross and garlic necklace, I felt I was protected.

Moving on.

This week I got to know a little more about my other classmates. One is a published writer who is quiet and shy and writes fantasies. He brought his published book which looked very interesting. That it was not a self-published book and he was able to have a house publish it on its first try was even more impressive. First try! How awesome is that? But when The POD asked him how the royalties were coming along, he laughed. Meager. Paltry. Non-existent. I felt bad for him but fantasies - unless they are well known - are a hard genre to sell. I, for one, will be buying his book not only as a supporting classmate but mostly because it really does look interesting. I skimmed the pages and the writing was intelligent.

Another classmate, who took the opportunity of alpha male Big Dude not being in class this week, decided it was his turn to become this night's big dog. Let's call him Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil is a last year student who is a philosophy major. He was all about philosophy. Ad nauseum. He peppered all of his answers with philosophical examples that went on longer than they needed to be - I mean long....real, real long. He actually brought his corgito ergo sum take on an answer that did not require it by any means. I think you're talking way too much, therefore you're beginning to annoy me. Yeah, that's what I corgito. Dude, speak normal, will you? Even The POD doesn't speak that way and he could get away with it. I wanted to run screaming from the classroom but felt that would have been quite unladylike. So I stayed and suffered. And he continued with the philosophical lingo and references that went above many heads, including my own. I'm all for learning and I am in an institution of higher learning but his 'act' was more for show than anything else. He was a bit much. During our 15 minute break when the professor asked those of us who stayed behind what we wanted to talk about, Dr. Phil quickly asked if he could speak about philosophy because he loved it so much and was his passion. Really? I didn't pick that up. The POD humored him and what happens? A 15-minute monologue follows where he loses all of us, including the professor who said he wasn't that smart when it came to a lot of things, one of them being philosophy (I think that was a little dig for Dr. Phil to take it down). Another student who sat there literally with his mouth open in amazement finally voiced what we all thought: "Wow. I have no idea what you just said." You had to laugh because it was so out there. At the end, he thanked all of us for listening to him (did we ever have a choice? Hostage would be the noun best used here) and said that no one ever wanted to listen to him and he really appreciated us showing an interest. Well, if you could view a class filled with confused looks and open mouths as interested.

Moving on.

The second class half of the class got very animated analyzing one single word that I - yes, me - had a problem with in a certain context. My question fueled a lengthy discussion. We dissected the word, analyzed it, turned it every which way from Sunday and would be the kind of roundtable discussion that would drive any non-English usage/language lover insane. Dr. Phil was quiet. The English language not being his true passion, he had very little to contribute.

Point taken. Sorry Dr. Phil for not acknowledging your passion. But, anyhoo, I thought you were smart enough to know this was an English class, so learn the rules. When in Rome, got it? So if you want to spout ad nauseum about English, bring it; anything else, leave at the door. These are our two hours. Yes, we're selfish that way. It's our time, it's our rules and that's the way we roll.

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And because a blogger friend, an exquisite writer named Jonas whose blog happens to be one of my favorites - Beyond Wunderman just tagged me in a game called, "one word answers," here are my truthful/not so truthful/funny answers:

Where is your cell phone? Tethered

Your hair? On me

Your favorite food? Spanish

Your dreams last night? Interesting, confusing

Your favorite drink? Chocolate shake

Your dream/goal? To exercise today

Your hobby? Procrastination

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alive

Where were you last night? None of your business

Something that you aren’t? Skinny

Muffins? Not a fan

Where did you grow up? My mother's womb

What are you wearing? Sweats (in an attempt to reach my goal)

Your TV? Taking a break

Your pets? 3+2+4

Missing someone? Not right now

Something you’re not wearing? A straight jacket

When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday

Last time you cried? Can't remember

Favorite place to eat? Anyplace that serves food