Thursday, August 19, 2010

Wombed

The perfumed liquid, body cleanser was slathered gently onto ruddy skin; skin slightly seared by the scorching water. The steam fogged the clear, shower doors entombing its occupant inside a makeshift sauna. Solitary beads of H2O crept slowly down tiles. A sob escaped a pair of swollen, red lips, then a tear; neither tear nor bead of water knowing its uniqueness or difference, it was all the same. Wombed inside the hot liquid, the calming water hushed the critical voices and peeled a grimaced face. Depression, an accomplice that shunned anyone that dared befriend, had finally grown weary. A promise was made: tonight would mark the beginning- a symbolic baptism of sorts: a new life. Having stumbled there and again with this dark friend too many times and for too long, tonight the friendship would finally come to an end. Tonight, no veins would be sliced, no harbinger of dark asking for a weak act to be sated. The hint of lavender permeated the air, the aroma filling lungs in desperate need of a clean breath. A new phase. At last. At last. Born in liquid, healed by liquid.

38 comments:

kirsten said...

wow. glad I wrote mine before reading yours! ;)

this is beautiful writing - my favorite concept is that of the mutability between tears & water drops. Telling, beautiful, real.

REALLY love this (and your blog 'about me' statement!)

Veronica said...

Beautiful... A depth of emotion I can relate to.

Lucy said...

Beautiful! I loved the last line - born in liquid, healed in liquid. You are truly gifted.

ThomG said...

This is just a fine piece of work, such depth and description.

Kerri said...

Wow, how strong and beautiful. Clean breath...upon reading it I took a deep breath.

Very powerful.

Lori Skoog said...

Rebecca! You are so good at this! Beautifully written.

Cheryl said...

Beautiful! Love the healing power of water - in all its forms.

Florida Girl Meets the Midwest said...

I thought this was touching. Stopping by from the red dress club.

Leo said...

very beautiful and expressive :)

Ashley said...

I know everyone is writing how beautiful this is but it REALLY IS! Wow. Great job!

Ash said...

I'm with Kirsten.

If I had read this first, no way in hell would mine have gone up.

Love this - "Solitary beads of H2O crept slowly down tiles. A sob escaped a pair of swollen, ruddy lips, then a tear; neither tear nor bead of water knowing its uniqueness or difference, it was all the same."

Nancy C said...

Echoing other thoughts...simply adore the final line. It reads almost stream-of-consciousness. Very internal and gripping.

Jessica Anne said...

Wow. Just beautiful. Wow.

Mommy Wis(h)dom said...

Great job! I really liked it. I could relate to her pain very easily.

Rose - The Center of My Self said...

How do you do this? How do you select every word and put it into the exact right place for it to make the entire picture whole, like a jigsaw puzzle? I feel the sensations, the sorrow, the determination to start anew, the goodbye to despair captured within the tear and washed away by the water.

BTW, lavender-scented soap always makes me happier, too.

Claudia said...

beautifully written…my favorite line was the last one and..Wombed inside the hot liquid, the calming water hushed the critical voices and peeled a grimaced face…

my magpie is here

Brian Miller said...

a baptism indeed...and a line that i am glad she crossed...quite tight with the emotion...nice magpie!

my magpie

Jingle said...

smart writing,
magical finish makes it perfect!

Judie said...

A very visual piece of writing--the kind I like best.

Berowne said...

Very good, and I welcomed the hopeful ending.

signed...bkm said...

Great read...very healing ending...well done..bkm

willow said...

Luscious. "Wombed" summed up the piece completely. Excellent bit of writing.

Missy @ Wonder, Friend said...

Whoa. Fantastic. This is why I'm glad I don't read the posts before I write my own. I would NEVER post. Too intimidating!

Vicki Lane said...

Nice deep cleansing feel to this!

Tumblewords: said...

Beautiful writing, as always!

Angie Muresan said...

Your writing is indeed lovely.

Stafford Ray said...

'Born in liquid, healed by liquid'.
Neat summing up and, nice to see a writer who gives her character an ego!

Angela said...

This is fantastic! Stunning visual with your choice of words. This also, may I add, touched my heart on a more personal level. Your words are amazing. :)

Laura said...

Exquisite writing Rebecca. I feel like I'm right there in the shower, experiencing the very same emotions...well done.

signed...bkm said...

Fantastic write without using a pronoun....amazing...well done...bkm

Fireblossom said...

I'm liking that title. A lot!

There are few things that hot water, pleasing scents and a little uninterrupted time can't make a little better.

Julie said...

Wow, that's amazing.

Jenna said...

I agree with Angela. It resonated with me, was stunningly beautiful, with vivid imagery. wow. love it.

Deus Ex Machina said...

Wow. I'm so glad I inadvertently clicked on your link on the weekend linkup. This was beautiful.

From Tracie said...

Wow. This is so beautiful. It makes me rethink mine (which is similar of intention).

Patty said...

"neither tear nor bead of water knowing its uniqueness or difference, it was all the same."

More than anything else, this grabbed me so tightly. A reminder of so many times when my own tears hid inside the safety of falling water.

Beautiful, as usual!

May said...

The shower providing a safe place to release the pain and your comparison to the womb is really wonderful imagery. Powerful writing.

Mrsupole said...

Wow, that is some shower and a great writing for the project. I guess I would hope that all showers were like that. And that my breathing problems would be cleaned away.

A great writing to add to the Theme Thursday Hope. Thanks for sharing.

God bless.