Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Blinking With Fists

Compliments of Deviant Art

There is a disquieting vibration running through my body today. I feel disturbed, dismayed at the current turn of events. Two men whose hatred is so blind that killing innocent school chidren, 88 to be exact, seemed like a good cause which they were willing to kill and die for. Eighty-eight who had no qualms with them; eighty-eight that still lived under the shroud of innocence; eighty-eight that simply were of a different color. In white tails and top hats no less.

There is a discomforting flow running through my veins today. I feel discouraged, distressed that at this crossroad of possible change, some will kill while others speak in falsity because bigotry blinds and stands in the way of clear vision. Hatred and intolerance does not evolve a society, but only serves to further diminish its value, yet it is evident that it is still a plate of which some still sumptuously feast.

There is a restless feel in the chambers of my heart today. I feel melancholic and blue with a dismal view of the future. I’ve not felt this way since 911 when many of our own were slain and violated by another’s hateful ideology. But this time the acts bear more sinister faces because they come from one of our own – those that come covered in cloths not unlike our own, those that speak a tongue not unlike the one we hear ourselves speak with, and yet I feel uneasy and slightly threatened because we are not speaking the same language and it is in that lack of understanding that ultimately births ignorance. And ignorance in this case is dangerous. And I am left saddened because this is us at our worst; this is us at our best?; this is us in all our ugliness and craziness, and it is a damn, pitiful shame.

Phobos and Deimos have pulled in their chariot with their angry God in tow, ready for war; Fear and Panic now hold center court. The seeds of hatred that were scattered across this vast land were buried deeper into the ground by the hooves of riled messengers that have now birthed a hostility running rampant in our nation.

And I am tired. I am tired of the snide remarks, of the folksy humor, of the instilling of panic and fear, of the lies, of the constant chattering and finger pointing. I am tired of it all. For every step we move forward, we move several steps back; I feel we are not making gain. Every prejudice of color, economy, or policy is being dissected with its repelling innards shown. And I suddenly feel like reclusing myself from everything until November 4th at which time I will cast my vote and cast my hope that things will work out for the best. But I feel, deep in this heart, deep inside these veins and the muscles of my body, that no matter the outcome, no matter the winner, it will not feel like a victory. Because hate will not banish itself from this nation after November 4th. It will seethe and continue to fester. And this is the reason why I am disquieted, this is the reason why I am discomforted, this is the reason why today I feel restless. Because in a war of hate and ignorance, there are never any winners.

17 comments:

lissa said...

I can understand your emotions and your slight lack of faith in hope, not everything can be easily solve and these hate crimes rarely ends anything, I applaud you in willing to still try and it is true, change is hard to come by even in these modern times

you certainly expressed what some of us truly feels but hard to digest at times

Michelle Johnson said...

Rebecca, this is a powerful post. I too think war is not the answer, nor hatred. I think after the election we won't see immediate changes but, I do hold out faith that those changes will come, eventually. Most importantly everyone needs to vote to start that change. Well done. Have a nice night.

Rose said...

You expressed the heaviness in your heart just beautifully, Rebecca angel. I don't think I'll ever understand how hearts can hate. I think it's so vital for all of us to express Love as powerfully and as often as possible, putting a Love energy into the universe to counteract the hate energy out there. Say it, shout it, express it, show it. If we see God/Love in every thing and in every moment, how can anyone hate? There is no room for hate if Love fills our hearts.

So thankful that the plot was uncovered before anyone was harmed. But just knowing it was planned makes my stomach sick.

Go gently, dear Rebecca. Your feelings are expressed so wonderfully and intelligently.

Lori Skoog said...

Rebecca...me too! This is so well written! The news was bad, and it's like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hope Obama is not reached by someone out there who shares some of their sick feelings. No wonder the man has more body guards than anyone else..it is a sad commentary on our society. Those who see him in person seem to be so supportive...and such large gatherings...I hope they are not the people who change their minds in the voting booth.
Lori

TD said...

Well stated. Full of emotional vigor and conviction. I agree with you whole heartedly, and yet the only way to counteract such villainy is with faith, hope, and love. Quite the paradox.

Good post...

CoyoteFe said...

Excellent, feeling post!

I understand your disquiet, but I try to focus on the prize. I can let the hatred draw power, or refuse it, adn shien a light. These are misguided kids who are able to wield unearned power (as we all can when we step into darkness) without understanding it.

Also, there is something about this story that seem s odd to me, but I cannot figure it yet.

Derik said...

Yes, there is much fear- and war-mongering in our politics today, and it is because of that foundation that we have such ugliness in our society. But we must persevere and fight the good fight, and we can come out perhaps not our best, but better than we were. It's a long, hard road out of hell.

White Rose said...

Rebecca, you have expressed so well that underlying disquiet I have felt through this whole election. And yes, I'm also tired of the thinly veiled comments that have come out of the McCain/Palin camp.

And I felt physically ill when read about these hate mongers.

I really think Obama could move our country forward, especially with a Democratic congress. And he has the ability to bring us together as a nation, but I have a nagging fear that he will have to be on guard at all times.

I have a great admiration for him, being a black man with the name Barack Obama he started with 2 strikes against him. An uphill battle that he has climbed with intelligence and quiet dignity.

I'm hoping the racial and class divide in this country will shrink and we see better days ahead.

Tanya Gwen Minnick said...

Very powerful post, I could relate to the strong feelings you spoke of, running through my own veins at times, this is why I no longer make it a point to watch the news- I end up in tears and fury at the things that I can do nothing about- better to focus on the little things I can do something about-
Thanks for the comment on my labyrinth! I love it and just started a new one that is a bird in flight, but also uses texture mediums.....:)
and yes, I did get a new playmate for charlie- her name is Bella.
She picked me out I should say- she is a Short haired German pointer...and lots of energy and love!
got my hands full here!! lol eeek

Tammy said...

What a powerful post that I felt in my bones. I'm all about hope, but feel like a helpless bystander. I voted and have turned off the news.

The Real Mother Hen said...

A very, very, excellent post - all because you could elevate from "me" to "us".

If everyone thinks like you, there will be world peace. Unfortunately many of the men out there fighting are all blind men. They can no longer see.

rebecca said...

Lissa: Change is always hard to come, no doubt, but I know that inevitably it will come. Thank you.

Michelle: Thank you for your comment. I do hope everyone does come out to vote on November 4th and are not discouraged by what is going on...

rebecca said...

Hi Rose: Thank you for those comforting words, dear heart. And you're right, the only way to counteract all of the negative is with the positive and we just need to focus on that. Continuing to be who we are and continuing to spread messages and words that lift and fill the spirit... ((hugs)) Rebecca

Hi Lori: Thank you, sweet Lorilei. And what you state in your comment is my worst fear - that if he gets elected some sick person will finally get him and I hope and pray that this will never come to fruition because I think this man is destined for greatness and can bring tremendous change. It is incredible, absolutely incredible, to see the large amount of people that go see him. Watching the news the other day, both he and McCain were in the same state - Obama drew a crowd of over 45,000 people, while McCain drew a crowd of only over 1,000. The difference is staggering.

rebecca said...

TD: Paradox it is yet you are absolutely, positively correct. Thank you for stopping by.

Hi Fe: I've never thought about the story striking odd - hmm, will have to keep your thought in mind. Yes indeed...

Derik: That's right, long hard road out of hell. It certainly feels as if we are in it now. And I completely agree with your comment....it was a good one.

rebecca said...

Hi Sherry: That is the thing that strikes me the most about him: his intelligence and quiet dignity. I think, like I stated earlier in one of my comments, that the man is destined for greatness. And I hope he wins, I hope that he will serve his tenure without risk to life, and I hope that perhaps in time those that did not believe will come around.

Hi T: I think by this point, many are feeling like you and have turned away from it all. It has become too overwhelming for the senses. ((hugs)) my sweet.

Tammy: Hi dear sweet friend. I hear you....sometimes I feel the same.

rebecca said...

Hi Mama Hen: Yes, I think many can relate to how I am feeling right now and thank you for your lovely comment. We just need to continue our "own" fight and send out to the universe good energy to counteract that bad energy that comes around....

CoyoteFe said...

Ohhhhh Rebecca -

Remember I was joking on my blog about Joe the Plumber getting an agent,publicist and action figure. It seems he obtained a publicist after all, is comtemplating a run for Congress and may pusue a country music career! (sigh)